I must be an old dog

because I'm not picking up new tricks, in fact I'm not learning from my mistakes any longer. On Friday night I should have stopped Mrs Zilla from opening another bottle of wine. Trying to move her from the sofa when she's fallen asleep is a thankless task. On Sunday we went to a birthday party for one of Godzooky 1's friends. He was six, and there were quite a few kids there. They'd put on an inflatable castle, with a, frankly, terrible Harry Potter theme. There was a dodgy owl perched on one side and a wizard looking child daubed on one wall. The final clue that led me to believe it was Harry Potter related were the large letters "HP" adorning the front of the thing. I always seem to end up with children following me round when we attend these sort of events. To be fair I don't adopt the usual adult trait of ignoring the kids and telling them to go off and play by themselves, so really I've only got myself to blame. I was driving, unlike all the other adults present, so the prospect of sitting with a soft drink watching everyone else get leathered didn't really appeal. I was quite concerned how Godzooky 2 would cope on the bouncy castle, but my fears were soon dismissed. She was happy to throw herself with utter abandonment from any part of the castle she could climb on. At one point she took a direct hit from a flying 6 year old, and I had that moment of "Oh here come the tears!", but she just laughed and got up. My fatal mistake came when I was cajoled by the kids into getting on the bouncy castle and trying to bounce them high. I gained huge kudos for doing so, and they were getting a huge buzz off it. Unfortunately my torn thigh muscle didn't like the sensations, and proved to be my undoing: I made the elementary mistake of falling on the floor of the castle. Prompting what felt like a million calls of "Piley On!", as all the little darlings flung themselves on top of me. It's a good job that no more kids are wanted, as tender areas of my body received several unwanted blows from elbows and knees. Still the Godzookies got the pleasure of being told that their dad was cool.