Being damp and partial invisibility

I think I'm feeling more positive today, although I'm not certain of it. At least the rain held off until I reached the end of my road, then a torrential downpour, which ended as I reached the tram stop. At least being soaking wet gets you some room on the tram. The exclusion zone created by moist clothes is quite welcome. People are also far less likely to treat you as the invisible man, and will actually manoeuvre carefully around you rather than adopt the normal, trying to walk through you approach. I am starting to wonder whether I do actually possess some innate optical illusion which obscures me from people's view. It seems that despite my height and breadth people seem to think that they can actually walk through me. Invariably these are people distracted by mobile phones or just not looking where they are going. I always try and at least stop, if I can't move out of the collision path, to minimise the force of impact. Yet these people seem genuinely surprised that they should encounter another thing in their path, even though they don't look where they're going. I thought I was quite a large and easily identifiable mass, but clearly I am in possession of some Klingon type cloaking device, which seems to deploy at random moments, but especially on busy pavements. Anyway, before this descends into another rant or gloominess, here's something that made me smile: After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a "gripesheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. And the best one for last.................. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget