Realisation

The recent events in London have certainly awakened memories which I had buried deeply, and their effects feel all the more sharp now. I was caught up in the first IRA bombs in Manchester circa 1990. The first blast happened outside the building I worked in. I was actually walking to work when it went off, although I was a good 250 yards away. I still remember thinking what on earth has happened, the VERY loud bang, smoke and windows falling out all around me. The feeling of the bomb shock wave rushing past. In my numb state I approached the office as though I was going to carry on with my day normally, I guess that's the effect of shock, you look for normality. Obviously I was ushered away by the first police on the scene, who warned of secondary devices, something I hadn't considered. I spent the next few hours trying to weave my way between police cordons, as the exclusion zone was widened. Unfortunately this led me to the site of the second explosion, just before it went off. This time I was about 100 yards away from it, and got covered in earth and grass. Thankfully having experienced the first one I was walking down the middle of the road when the glass fell out of windows again, unlike some unfortunate bystanders. My thoughts at the time were how lucky I had been, now as a married man with children I hear of such atrocities and feel the anguish families must be going through not knowing what happened to their loved ones. My feelings of helplessness and inevitability at the time are now replaced by anger at people's lack of regard for other humans in the name of a so called holy war. I have also realised that despite putting these events in a memory bank the feelings can soon come swiftly back to the surface. A legacy all those touched by the current events wiil find too. My thoughts are with them