Road Rage

Is it me, or is everyone in the world losing patience and the ability to think about other people? Yesterday I was returning from the supermarket with my family: my six month pregnant wife, Heir no.1 (aged 5) and Heir no.2 (aged 17 months) asleep in her baby chair. We were at traffic lights, sitting in the outer lane, with two lanes heading in the same direction. Ahead the inside lane was blocked by a parked car, which was visible from some way before the traffic lights. A large people carrier pulled alongside, with a driver that had the unique talent of being able to drive, eat a sandwich and talk on his mobile phone. I anticipated that this guy was going to cut me up and so decided that I would let him take off first when the lights changed.

Unfortunately his multi-tasking skills didn’t extend to watching for the lights changing as well as eating/conversing. So when he didn’t move off as they changed to green I did. Not at a snail’s pace, but not like I was at Le Mans either. By this time the guy’s spare brain cell had engaged and he set off like he was at Le Mans. However he only had about 75 yards before the parked car was an obstacle, and I was already about 20 yards closer to it than him. He decided that if he floored it he could undertake me and gain a car’s length of road. He just about managed this manoeuvre, thanks in main to me braking before he took the front of my car off. In my frustration I pressed my horn – not a long “angry” blast, just a short “look next time” hoot. This provoked the other guy to drive at 20mph giving me evil looks in the rear view mirror. Looking back, perhaps my wave and cheery smile provoked what happened next. I should stress that normally I would be using other hand gestures and swearing more than a South Park character, but I was actually quite relaxed at the time. We drew up to some more lights, with the same scenario ahead: a parked car blocking the inside lane. Careful Driver had again picked the inside lane, and never one to avoid confrontation, I picked the “sensible” option of the outside lane. As it was an unseasonably warm day both of us had our windows down. Through a mouthful of sandwich he managed to utter “What’s your problem dickhead? Why are you beeping me like I’m some sort of tosser?” Being the model of restraint I managed to reply “ I don’t like getting cut up by idiots who cant drive properly or read the road ahead, I’ve got small children in here.” Unfortunately my wife wasn’t showing the same level of restraint and said “ Because you are a tosser”. She normally criticises me for reacting, but clearly the hormones were raging within her. This didn’t go down well with him. His retort was “ I don’t give a fuck about your kids, I’ll kick your fucking head in.” My calm demeanour now evaporated, but we were only minutes from home and I wasn’t going to spoil an otherwise pleasant afternoon. As the lights changed it was clear he was going to attempt the same manoeuvre as last time. To avoid unpleasantness I let him take off first, but he then slowed until I caught up to him. He was deliberately going to do it again. So another burst of horn from me, accompanied this time by hand gestures from both me and my wife. This time the guy in front screeches to a halt and proceeds to get out of his people carrier. He then starts to walk towards my car shaking his fist.

Now I’m not a guy to provoke situations, but then neither am I a guy to back down from one. This guy was in his late 40s I would guess, about 5’6” and carrying some weight. Guys like this shouldn’t go looking for trouble. I’m 6’2” and in pretty reasonable shape; his face was a picture as I got out of my car. When I invited him to come and kick my fucking head in, he didn’t seem quite so sure anymore. As I approached him to discuss the matter further, he seemed to remember the clearly important appointment that had made him drive like a lunatic in the first place, and jumped back into his car. When we reached the next set of lights he seemed somewhat unwilling to return my looks, and he must have been feeling a bit chilly, as his window was now rolled right up. Heir no.1, as only a child can, said “What’s a dickhead daddy?” It certainly defused my anger at that moment. How is it that people are so unable to see how unreasonable and inconsiderate their behaviour is to others?

Or am I so unusual in trying to consider people around me?