Weddings

I watched an interesting programme on TV last night. They took a page of newlyweds photos from a local paper in Brighton, back in 1981 and tried to follow through the results of the marriages. The age ranges and demographics of the couples varied widely. The youngest bride was 17, with a husband of 27, the oldest bride 60, and her husband 71. The notions of what marriage meant were far more traditional than todays. Quite a few of the brides were virgins, and most were moving from their parents homes. Interestingly the bonds that kept people together varied enormously too. Some couples had decided that they never wanted children, and that had kept them together - enjoying each other's company and travelling. One man freely admitted that he wasn't in love when he got married, but that he definitely was now.

Out of the 20 marriages, I think around 12 were still going strong, which fits in with most statistics I suppose.

It got me to thinking about how I felt about my marriage, as Mrs Zilla lay soaking in the bath. We didn't get married in the traditional way, as I've already blogged about. We've been together for almost 11 years, and married for just 5. We got married in Las Vegas, just the two of us, although it was broadcast on the internet for interested family and friends! We already had Godzooky 1 by this point. I'm really not sure what marriage has altered in the long term compared to when we were merely living together. In the legal sense it gives me parental rights, and provides more security for Mrs Zilla. Relationship wise I think it made things slightly rocky for a while. We'd talked about marriage and children previously. Marriage was never high on our list, and children were discussed, with the idea that Mrs Zilla wanted to be 28 before that happened. As usual the fickle finger of fate got involved and Mrs Zilla was pregnant at 24. The first of her friends to do so, but she was also the only one in any kind of stable relationship. We'd alreday been together for 3 years, lived together and bought a house. I proposed when Godzooky 1 was around 18 months old. People had stopped asking when we were going to get married, so it seemed less like we were doing it to appease people! The marriage definitely upset the rhythm of the relationship. I think Mrs Zilla felt that she was almost trapped, when most of her friends were still relatively carefree, although more of them had got married, none yet had children. It seems to me that having had Godzooky 1 was in some paradoxical way both the cause of the problem and also the glue that made us work through a difficult time. So where are we now? Comfortable I guess. We know each other really well and what makes us tick. We seldom argue, and if we do it tends to be over trivial things. The only flaw I can find is the declining passion, but then I guess after 11 years I shouldn't expect fireworks? Do I still see us being together long term? Unless something goes fundamentally wrong I don't see why not, but then who knows what's round the corner?