I'm back, from Outer Space...

Well, from what felt like the brink of oblivion actually. I spoke far too soon last week – I didn’t manage to avoid the bug after all. If you are eating, or even thinking of eating, stop reading now. Father’s Day began nicely enough, with breakfast in bed and a small gift from the children. (Although as an aside I have noted that there was no card made at school, despite Mrs Zilla getting one for Mother’s Day. Probably due to the fact that many kids don’t live with their dad anymore, but I still feel left out!) Then began the uncomfortable sensations in the depths of my stomach. You know the ones – you feel queasy, but not enough to actually be sick. This built steadily throughout the morning, but still no desire to retch. Lunchtime came and went with no desire to eat, and by mid-afternoon I’d had enough and decided to see if the situation could be resolved. On my next visit to the bathroom I just imagined being sick and that seemed to do the trick. Cue some time spent talking on the big white telephone, and an instant upturn in my state of feeling unwell. Until the aching started – it felt like I had flu, that sort of ache (and I mean proper flu, not the namby pamby man flu!). Coupled with a raging temperature I was starting to regret the ejection of stomach contents. I’d felt queasy before, now I felt as though red hot needles were being inserted into all my joints. Obviously my feeling unwell, especially on Father’s Day solicited lots of concern and sympathy from Mrs Zilla. Or so I expected. No – she was quite willing to swan off to her concert, on Father’s Day, leaving me to feed, bath and get ready for bed all three kids. She left at 3pm, I had managed to get everything done and crawl into my bed of despair by 7.30pm. To add insult to injury Mrs Zilla returned home at 1.00am, there had been trouble getting out of the concert car park (try not parking right next to the venue next time darling), and promptly woke me up to tell me how great the concert had been. This was a concert by some has been ex-boy band, who I detested at the time they were around in the mid 90s, and my love for them has not increased since. Then she had the nerve to tell me that I had made the bed too warm! Excuse me for having a fever! It’s not often that I question why I am married with children, but that was certainly the case right then. So I look forward to next year’s Father’s Day with bated breath…