Her Moans

Excellent News – Father-in-law is now residing at home, having been discharged from hospital. Early signs are good: his first concern was the length of his grass; it badly needs a cut apparently. It falls within my boundaries of acceptable length, but then I would probably find the height where you can’t see your children acceptable too. He is under strict instructions not to do any strenuous exercise or lift anything weighing more than 2lbs. So I know that at some point over the weekend I’ll be cutting someone’s grass. Heir No. 1 has had a rude awakening, he now gets homework during the week, in addition to the weekend version. Despite this his new teacher is popular and he does seem to be making good progress. His reading seems better already and his confidence is growing rapidly. The party season is starting again, and he has already started thinking about his own birthday and what he wants to do. At this stage he is ruling out a female presence from his class, but knowing him he will undoubtedly have a “girlfriend” he will want to invite. He told me last tear that he was going to marry one girl and have another as his girlfriend. I should add that I have not been teaching him bad things or that he is learning from experience. I do admire his thinking, and it will be a sad day when realises what life is really like! Any party of his is going to require some sort of early planning, his birthday is the 23rd December. He was due to be a Millennium Baby but just wouldn’t wait. It wasn’t designed that way, and how we laughed when lying post-coital we watched a programme saying that it was the perfect night to conceive a Millennium Baby. The laughter had certainly stopped four weeks later when the line appeared on the pregnancy test. We had planned a few more years before starting a family. Last year we ended up leaving it too late booking his party and all venues were booked up with Christmas parties. So early action this year will avoid repeated disappointment, although getting him to decide what he wants to do could be tricky. He’s at that age where he’s sure what he wants, until the last minute and then changes his mind completely. There’s a joke in there somewhere about women but I’m not going to go looking for it. I can see us being immensely popular, taking people’s children off them for a few hours should provide valuable Christmas shopping time. Off on a personal tangent, I am somewhat disappointed that my wife is not hungrily begging for me to ravish her on a constant basis. Not that this is a normal state of affairs, but in both her previous pregnancies her sex drive has gone through the roof, leading to happy times all round, there are some demands I don’t mind. Having had a child of each sex, I thought that baby gender couldn’t be a factor, and was expecting to start needing energy drinks, complex carbohydrates Nothing so far, well no more than normal; it’s probably all due to hormones, or lack of a certain one kicking in. Hopefully that can’t be too far off now. It’s much easier being a man – only one hormone to really worry about and that makes only simple demands on us. Of course what you wish was a joint activity can end up as a more personal odyssey. As I concluded with a friend of mine not long ago, there is a certain irony surrounding the hobby of DIY. As a teenager you resolve never to do it again once you get a regular supply of female loving. Yet as you get older the urge returns whenever the opportunity rises. On that note….