A Man of Numbers

Proof that Accountants are dull

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Does this make me a bad parent?

Another one that had slipped from my mind from the weekend. We normally endeavour to set Heir no.1 a time to get up on a Sunday morning, in an effort, (usually in vain) to gain some extra time in bed. If you don’t give him a time, then he usually comes in and stands by the side of the bed. After a few minutes of no response (I know this because I’ve pretended to be asleep in the past) he starts to prod you, gently at first and then harder until he gets a response. So to stop such actions we usually agree a time for him to get up when putting him to bed on Saturday night. This still doesn’t always work, as he will wake up early and then start to bang on the wall, or mutter (shout really) to himself. Still, as usual negotiations took place on Saturday night: Me: “Right, so you won’t get up before 9 O’clock, ok?” Him: “ 8 O’clock?” Me: “No, 9 O’clock” Him: “8.30?” (a born haggler) Me: “No, 9 O’clock” (tough in the right situations) Him: “8.59?” (perhaps not a natural haggler) Me: “Ok, 8.59, but not earlier!” (I know when I’ve won) I retire downstairs and revel in the glory of my achievement, Mrs Godzilla was suitably impressed, and then the horror hit me. “The clocks go back tonight! I’ve not altered his!” The realisation hit home: he was going to get up at 8 O’clock – he’d won without even realising it! Quick thinking was required, how was I going to retrieve this situation? I didn’t know where the time change buttons on his clock were, and didn’t want to risk disturbing him either. The best my feverish mind could come up with was to change ALL the other clocks in the house to the new time and try to bluff him out, to get him to go back to bed in the morning. He was through at exactly 8.59 on his clock and wouldn’t listen to any arguments that all the other clocks in the house said it wasn’t 9 O’clock. The upshot is that he thinks he’s either got a magic clock or the ability to change time when he wants to. How do you get this parenting thing right?

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